Let's get to the point shall we?
2019 has been a whirlwind for me, this year I have been on my highest and lowest point in my life for the first time since forever.
1. Getting married! we finally putting the rings on!
2. Travel to Japan for the first time, as mentioned before, I've always wanted to visit Japan since forever and we finally did (we are planning to go back in 2020)
3. Our Youtube channel ReelMandrill finally taking off. Go pay a visit to our channel π
4. Meeting a lot of influencers because of Youtube
5. Manage a shit ton of corporate events at work
6. For the first time, I wanted to resigned so-freaking-badly but I couldn't due to financial stability
7. Getting my dream car (VW Golf)
8. Getting pregnant
9. Getting miscarriage
10. Feeling depressed because of work pressure, but again, back to point no.6
Okay, let's elaborate one-by-one shall we?
1. Getting Married
On January 19th 2019, me and my 8 years bf are getting married. It was truly one of the happiest moment of my life, all the hard work we put into the preparation has finally come true. If you are currently planning a wedding, my only tip would be, really trust God, money will come eventually. Sounds cliche, but I've been told the same and never believed in it until it happened to us!
2. Travel to Japan
If you read my previous post about Eurotrip, I've always been wanting to visit Japan. My childhood and I believe a lot of 90's kids in Indonesia also heavily influenced by Japanese culture (until K-pop came along π). I've hit most of touristy spots; Osaka, Universal Studios, Tokyo, Kyoto. And we then realized, 7 days trip was not enough, so we bought our ticket to come back in May 2020.
3. ReelMandrill Youtube Channel
My husband and I initially created this channel simply for fun, until one day we started to take things seriously. He partnered with 2 other friends and collaborate with many influencers and celebrities to contribute in our channel. There has been a lot of struggle, arguments and disappointment along the way, yet here we are, still going strong. We even hired a freelance video editor to help us. I am forever grateful to have these people around me including my Husband passion in making this come alive.
4. Meeting Influencers for Youtube
This is something new and never in a million years I thought this would happened to me. We met a lot of people from various background through Youtube collaboration, and this has also helped me to be more social with people. I'm learning to understand other people's perspective, that celebrities were also humans and they are pretty much like us (except they are famous π)
5. Manage Corporate Events
It has been my expertise to do event management, and I would pat my own back for finishing almost 20 events (mostly by myself) this year. It was definitely not an easy job, and to be completely honest, with a new "re-structure" at my office, things get tougher, and I lost my passion along the way. No, I don't lost my interest in Marketing, but some people above me made me depressed and feel I am incapable of my own job. I don't have anyone to talk or discuss to anymore, therefore, resulted in my next point.
6. I Wanted to Resign
Due to what happened on point 5, I am contemplating to really leaving this company, just to find my own self and my passion again.
7. Getting VW Golf
So I've been dreaming to own VW Golf since I was in Junior High. I was playing Need for Speed game in Play Station, and dreamed about owning one ever since. TRUE STORY! Until this year, we saved enough money to finally buy one. It was magical, and I am forever grateful for not giving up on my dream.
8. Getting Pregnant
On November 2019, i was pregnant, without knowing. There are no particular signs, I only felt my body is getting wider, and of course, my period is late. Until it was late for 2 weeks and I'm starting to question myself. So I did take a test and it came out a little blurry. It says positive but it was a faint line. To be completely honest I had a mixed feeling about it, not entirely happy nor disappointed. Since I was really burned out at the office, I am not entirely sure I am ready for a baby.
9. Getting Miscarriage
We are planning to announce it to our families by the next weekend, however I noticed that I had dots of blood "under there" on Monday. I immediately google this to find what happened and turns out there were a lot of articles saying that this is normal, so I did not take a serious thoughts into it and move on with the day. Then on Tuesday, the marks did not disappear so I called a nearby clinic to book for an OBGYN appointment just to make sure. Thursday was the day I will never forget. We went to the clinic at 11am, went in and get ultrasound. That is the day that I met my little baby, a small circle, floating as big as a kidney bean. The doctor told us that I was 4 weeks pregnant, however it was a risky one, because apparently the embryo position is unusual therefore resulted in my hemorrhage for the past 2 days. The doctor then prescribed some medication, and told me to take a bed rest for the rest of the day. Since I am soooo stupid, I did not take it very seriously, I still went to get lunch after my appointment, with very little walking, of course, and still doing work at home until afternoon. I then take a nap around 4 pm after taking the medication, and waiting for my husband to come home. Then at 7 pm I felt pain around my stomach area, and start bleeding again, but now it was a lot. It felt like the menstrual cramps but 5x more painful. I couldn't handle it, the blood keeps coming out. My only thought was I need to stay conscious, while asking my husband to call a doctor for advise. I finished my bleeding around 9pm. I went outside the bathroom and fell on the ground, I don't have any energy left after withstanding the pain. We then went to the hospital, just to make sure, but all of the OBGYN was not available that night so they only gave me some medication to help with my bleeding and pain. The next day we went to the hospital again to check with ultrasound and the result was...we lost the baby.
10. Getting Depressed
I couldn't elaborate anymore because this has affected my mental health, I really need another job badly. The company management sucks, to simply say.
So yeah, that's a roller coaster ride of my 2019. How's yours?
Pic source: freepik
